Can I please be a villain again, and forget I ever tried to be a hero?

In a recent, random turn of events, I have found myself a changed person. Formerly a villain, now turned hero. It all started on what the world knows as 'Black Friday'. (And yes, I could now take a break and inform you it's called 'Black Friday' because it's typically the first day of the year that retail sales get out of the red and back into the black, therefore creating a profit and making everyone smile and behave erratically...but I wont bore you with such trivial knowledge). And though it began on 'Black Friday', none of my change presented itself until Christmas Eve.

I'd like to blame my brothers for this newly-found dilemma, as it was while shopping for them that this possibility showed itself to me. Maybe it was getting up at 4:30am to shop. Maybe it was two coffees before 11am. Maybe it was the utter chaos surrounding me. But I realized, "If they can be heroes, why can't I?". Yes, it stretched my imagination to its limits. It's hard to picture myself finding joy in anything with the slightest connotation of niceness/helpfulness/supportiveness/some-other-word-that-ends-in-ness that comes with the word 'hero'. But a hero, nonetheless, I've become.

And please don't picture me as some role model. By all means, I am in no way insinuating I've achieved perfection. As I face the crowds in my daily situations, trying only to do what I think is right, I sometimes hear the crowds and their mocking. Taunts to dissuade me from chasing after my new-found vision. Perhaps they are, themselves, merely villains waiting for their moment when they will be able to choose to become heroes, too. Maybe they still don't understand that they have a choice. And with that in mind, I will not take anything they say to heart, and hope that they too will become a hero.

As for me, I will continue trying to be a hero, or in the very least, a 'guitar hero'.

And on a side-note, if in a incidental moment, you happen upon me playing and find me blushing, make no assumptions. I'm not ashamed to admit to playing Guitar Hero (though maybe I should be). I'm probably just remembering and embarrassing moment. I think I'll share it with you now...

I'd like to start by saying, I love my in-laws. I am blessed and thankful to have them as my family. They raised my husband to be and incredible man. They are wonderful grandparents. They even love me (and goodness knows that can be a task!).

They are also quite conservative. This isn't usually an issue, but I know there are lots of unspoken things we could disagree on. Some things are just better left unsaid, especially in the interest of keeping peace. (I do understand not all moms have their lips pierced and tattoo sleeves in the process...) I suspected that the game 'Guitar Hero' may push the limits. So, in an effort to not offend, when I found out they would be stopping in for the night, I'd planned on keeping the game (and especially its case), put away.

Here is where the ever-helpful Creed enters the story. Not only did he proceed to tell them we got the game (while Traben sang "slow ride...take it easy" in the background), he sought out the case to show off. I tried to distract him. Then, unable to do so, make myself appear distracted as I saw Todd's mom's countenance change from pleasant to disapproving, while she was looking over the case. I was looking to Todd to get him to divert attention when Creed uttered these marvelous words, while pointing at the cover....

"And this one is my mom!"

Todd choked.

I blushed.

If you're not familiar with the game, here's why;

Some things I'm thankful for....or rather, the first 10 thoughts that came to mind...

To celebrate the closing of a year, and welcome in a new one, I'd like to share with you a small list of things I am thankful for this year.

10: Velcro on my kids shoes. ~ I don't mean the kind that straps them on, but the little sticky tabs I added to put random notes to people, especially teachers. Example: "Please ignore the staples in his head, he always likes to start school well-supplied"

9: Used books from St. Vincent DePaul. ~ Books are cheaper to buy there than at your local mega-mart-book-peddler, and they come with a unique 'used-by-an-old-person scent' only found in thrift stores.

8: My Wii and WiiFit. ~ Not only do I get to be more fit, but I get to do so while making the neighbors wonder if I'm fighting with my imaginary friend...again.

7: Lint Rollers. ~ I don't actually own one as of yet, but with my dog currently shedding, I like to know that the possibility of removing his excess hair from my shirt, with ease, is possible. And for only a small cost.

6: Wood (and its byproducts). ~ What can't it do? Sure, it can't be used as a flame retardant, and maybe it doesn't taste good to eat, but... Houses can't be made without it. [Okay, they probably can.] But, without wood, we wouldn't have newspapers. [Although, many are online now.] Okay, well at least without wood, we wouldn't have pulp and without pulp we wouldn't have toilet paper. And that would be a sad world.

5: My toenails. ~ As of this day, more than 26 years into my life, I have yet to have a toenail fungus, and for that I am grateful. *knocks on wood (see what else wood is useful for?!)*

4: My dogs desire to eat anything. ~ I always knew I wanted a puppy, but I never knew the extent of the joys that would abound in my having to pry things out of the creatures mouth, every ten minutes.

3: The cat that adopted us. ~ Me, thankful for a cat? Yes, because who else could I refer to as "el diablo", while cleaning their muddy prints out of our bathtub. And how many people can say they have a cat that loves to sit in a tub?

2: The wipers on car headlights. ~ Not only are they highly useful, clearing off the high beams, but they're just dern cute. Teeny-tiny wipers going 'swish-swish-swish'.

And for the final thought...

1: Nonsense. ~ Not only does it help ease the daily dose of serious, but it makes the blahs dissapear, if only for a moment. "A little nonsense now and then, cherished by the wisest men"... a constant thought, singing in my head, thanks to good ol' Willy Wonka.

Thanks for reading my blogs this year. As Christmas draws near, and a New Year approaches, I hope that you will find peace and joy in your life's journey.

It's getting hot in here...

All of my life, as long as I can remember, I've feared being a diaphoretic. This isn't one of my fears that's crippling. It's not like my myrmecaphobia, where I can't help but shut down in fear. I can survive, and should I have an episode, I can quickly recover. I'm sure a lot of people would tell me to just get over it, that life shouldn't be full of these fears... And while I try to overcome, in the heat of the moment, it becomes my obsession.

So, I've chosen to live my life carefully. I try to 'dress for success', and stick with environments in which I feel comfortable. I've truly taken a very proactive approach to this issue. I found that adenosine has been linked to causing specific episodes of diaphoresis. Now, I try daily to combat the presence of its mere existence in this macrocosm that is my life. I have even been medicating myself because of this.

But, finding this (near)cure has also led to a light addiction. Okay, a rampant addiction. You never expect the cure to become its own disease, but it has. And not without its own side-effects. I find myself feeling more alert at random hours when sleep should be calling me. Some days I feel edgier, almost jittery. And, in the unfortunate event that I'm unable to ingest my daily dosage, it feels as though my world is crashing in around me. My head aches, my body feels weak, my bed beckons me.

But don't think that I'm complaining. I'm not trying to break this addiction, yet. My fears are still prevalent. Honestly, I know it's not healthy to be so dependant, but I cannot choose life any other way. I've tried. And, upon further research, as much as my medication is for binding the adenosine (therefore helping combat my diaphoretic-phobias), it's useful in other ways. It's been known to combat cancer, help fight off diseases like diabetes and Parkinsons...not that I should try to justify the vices in my life.


So, there's no real significance to my admissions today. As a diaphoretic, I fear excessive sweating. Adenosine is naturally in our bodies, and can increase perspiration, but caffeine binds the adenosine. And gosh darn it, if caffeine is gonna help, I'm drinking more coffee. Coffee is the cure for everything. So drink up!Besides, who needs sleep anyway?