It's hard to say where it began. A little glimpse here, wandering thoughts there. Whispered seductions of an easier life, of happier times. Promises of no frustrations.
Other people have done it, and they're actually happy now.
I don't know why I've stayed here so long. It's been dull. Your meltdowns have been severe, and I've worried you wouldn't recover from some of your crashes. You need help. Honestly, the lack of interaction and the overwhelming sense of 'blah' exuding from you have about made me give up altogether.
But I'm not giving up. I'm just moving out and moving on.
So with these few words, I say adieu. Goodbye, blogspot. You've been... well... adequate. You were my first blog, but it's time we part.
I'm moving on to higher ground. New ventures await. New friends to be made, new posts waiting to be written and read.
Hello, Wordpress. I'm glad we can finally go public with our relationship.
(find my new blog located here- http://www.iamjakz.wordpress.com
Friday, May 13, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Have I lost my marbles?
I have a fear of becoming senile.
I understand that eventually all of us will have some decline in our mental faculties, I just don't want to accept that as a fact. Even worse, I have anxiety issues based around this. See, I'm not only afraid of becoming senile, I'm afraid of it happening to me now, at my current age. Not that I'm anywhere close to gray haired (naturally, anyway. I always expect that I'm going to really screw up my hair and have grandma-blue color on my head).
Constantly I have moments occur in my life that make me question if I'm losing my grip on reality already. (Granted, this blog has enough to prove that I'm already gone, but that's a truth I choose to ignore.) I'm not talking the little things like losing keys, we all do that. Same with children. They show up eventually and all is okay.
I can rarely remember any details of movies I've just watched (with a few exceptions). And this can even be immediately after watching. I tell myself that I'm just being wise with my internal memory and not storing useless info. Perhaps saving room on my hard drive for something important.
But, to contradict this theory, I can remember almost every episode of certain sitcoms. Like all 10 seasons of Seinfeld. Or Arrested Development.
So I worry I may be slipping. And I continue to hope these are quirks, specific to me.
Then yesterday happened. Trying to get ready to leave, I had an outfit in mind that I wanted to wear. Nothing fancy, but it included my favorite jeans. Went to my dresser to get them, not there. Maybe I left them in the master bathroom? Nope.
Laundry? Nope.
I lost my pants. Gone. Missing. Lost. AWOL. Non-existent.
How can one lose a pair of pants?! Especially in a house that isn't very big, and doesn't look like it's had a hurricane come through recently. I take pride in keeping our home decent. Usually.
Enlisting the help of the family as a search party, we began to scour the house for my jeans. Running short on time, I decide to wear a different pair, but the hunt continues. Nowhere to be found. Todd checked his dresser, making sure they didn't get put away with his jeans. Not there. I checked my son Creed's dresser, just in case. Nope.
By this time I'm thinking in asterisks and ampersands (possibly even some pound symbols and dollar signs! at the stupidity of the situation. How could I have lost my pants?!
The day continues on. Life goes on. But the nagging thought of "Where are they?" still remained.
Finally, late afternoon-ish I thought of one place I hadn't checked. The only place I hadn't checked. My son Traben's pants drawer. He hates jeans, never wears them, doesn't own them. So there's no way I would've put a pair of jeans there, right? Right?!
Wrong.
There they were, in all their splendor, tucked neatly in his drawer.
So, here I sit at my table, wearing my wonderful jeans and wondering... have I lost my mind? No. No, I haven't. I hope I never lose it.
And I hope I never lose my pants again, either.
So, opinions? Am on the fast-track to becoming senile? Or do you have stories of embarrassment that make this story pale in comparison? Please tell me I'm not alone in this fear of youthful senility!
I understand that eventually all of us will have some decline in our mental faculties, I just don't want to accept that as a fact. Even worse, I have anxiety issues based around this. See, I'm not only afraid of becoming senile, I'm afraid of it happening to me now, at my current age. Not that I'm anywhere close to gray haired (naturally, anyway. I always expect that I'm going to really screw up my hair and have grandma-blue color on my head).
Constantly I have moments occur in my life that make me question if I'm losing my grip on reality already. (Granted, this blog has enough to prove that I'm already gone, but that's a truth I choose to ignore.) I'm not talking the little things like losing keys, we all do that. Same with children. They show up eventually and all is okay.
I can rarely remember any details of movies I've just watched (with a few exceptions). And this can even be immediately after watching. I tell myself that I'm just being wise with my internal memory and not storing useless info. Perhaps saving room on my hard drive for something important.
But, to contradict this theory, I can remember almost every episode of certain sitcoms. Like all 10 seasons of Seinfeld. Or Arrested Development.
So I worry I may be slipping. And I continue to hope these are quirks, specific to me.
Then yesterday happened. Trying to get ready to leave, I had an outfit in mind that I wanted to wear. Nothing fancy, but it included my favorite jeans. Went to my dresser to get them, not there. Maybe I left them in the master bathroom? Nope.
Laundry? Nope.
I lost my pants. Gone. Missing. Lost. AWOL. Non-existent.
How can one lose a pair of pants?! Especially in a house that isn't very big, and doesn't look like it's had a hurricane come through recently. I take pride in keeping our home decent. Usually.
Enlisting the help of the family as a search party, we began to scour the house for my jeans. Running short on time, I decide to wear a different pair, but the hunt continues. Nowhere to be found. Todd checked his dresser, making sure they didn't get put away with his jeans. Not there. I checked my son Creed's dresser, just in case. Nope.
By this time I'm thinking in asterisks and ampersands (possibly even some pound symbols and dollar signs! at the stupidity of the situation. How could I have lost my pants?!
The day continues on. Life goes on. But the nagging thought of "Where are they?" still remained.
Finally, late afternoon-ish I thought of one place I hadn't checked. The only place I hadn't checked. My son Traben's pants drawer. He hates jeans, never wears them, doesn't own them. So there's no way I would've put a pair of jeans there, right? Right?!
Wrong.
There they were, in all their splendor, tucked neatly in his drawer.
So, here I sit at my table, wearing my wonderful jeans and wondering... have I lost my mind? No. No, I haven't. I hope I never lose it.
And I hope I never lose my pants again, either.
So, opinions? Am on the fast-track to becoming senile? Or do you have stories of embarrassment that make this story pale in comparison? Please tell me I'm not alone in this fear of youthful senility!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
I just heard...
Are you one of those people that finds yourself listening to some absurd stories? I find that people feel the need to tell me anything and everything. Mostly, it's entertaining, sometimes disturbing. And I'm not just talking about people I know, but strangers as well. After years of this happening, I'm thinking maybe I should share some of these random moments. So here are a few recent stories...
Yesterday, I had a guy start telling me about how his friend has a 7 week old pot-bellied pig that is potty trained. When it needs to go potty, it goes to the back door and starts snorting. He said it even plays well with the persons dog, and their neighbor dog... but he assured me when all three are together, they keep a good eye on them. I asked him, "Is it because you're afraid the dogs are gonna realize they're playing with bacon?"
During a recent trip to the grocery store, the cashier had to remark that she likes otter pops. I replied with a not rude, but a mildly unenthusiastic, "Yeah, they're good(?)." She must've interpreted it that I needed reassurance of their grandeur, instead of me sounding like I was confused why she needed to tell me this. She then proceeded to tell me how she wants to always buy them by the case. They're good! They're good! "I like to get up in the middle of the night and have one, you know if I get too hot or something? And my husband will wake up sometimes and come out for some water or something and I'll be sitting in my chair eating one. He's wondering what I'm doing, but they're good!"
And all I could think is, "Since when did they lace those things with crack?".
Today, a woman in her 70's had to ask me how I had my shoes laced. So I held out my foot and told her, "Very messily!". She proceeded to tell me about how her husband only wore Converse (what I was wearing today) until a couple years ago, but he had to lace them a certain way. The right way. Not the way I had done it. She was wishing he was with her so he could show me.
These are my shoes and how I had them laced-
These are how she thought they should be laced, "Straight across is good!"-
Maybe next time I get new Chucks, I'll lace them like this, and hope my path crosses with this kind, talkative grandma so she can inspect my shoes and have a story to tell her husband.
So talk to strangers people, let them talk to you, too! You never know when you're going to hear a hysterical story, and odd story or a story with way too much information.
You never know when you'll finally meet the person who can teach you to tie your shoes correctly!
So, have any stories you want to share with me? Feel free to leave them in my comments section!
Yesterday, I had a guy start telling me about how his friend has a 7 week old pot-bellied pig that is potty trained. When it needs to go potty, it goes to the back door and starts snorting. He said it even plays well with the persons dog, and their neighbor dog... but he assured me when all three are together, they keep a good eye on them. I asked him, "Is it because you're afraid the dogs are gonna realize they're playing with bacon?"
During a recent trip to the grocery store, the cashier had to remark that she likes otter pops. I replied with a not rude, but a mildly unenthusiastic, "Yeah, they're good(?)." She must've interpreted it that I needed reassurance of their grandeur, instead of me sounding like I was confused why she needed to tell me this. She then proceeded to tell me how she wants to always buy them by the case. They're good! They're good! "I like to get up in the middle of the night and have one, you know if I get too hot or something? And my husband will wake up sometimes and come out for some water or something and I'll be sitting in my chair eating one. He's wondering what I'm doing, but they're good!"
And all I could think is, "Since when did they lace those things with crack?".
Today, a woman in her 70's had to ask me how I had my shoes laced. So I held out my foot and told her, "Very messily!". She proceeded to tell me about how her husband only wore Converse (what I was wearing today) until a couple years ago, but he had to lace them a certain way. The right way. Not the way I had done it. She was wishing he was with her so he could show me.
These are my shoes and how I had them laced-
These are how she thought they should be laced, "Straight across is good!"-
Maybe next time I get new Chucks, I'll lace them like this, and hope my path crosses with this kind, talkative grandma so she can inspect my shoes and have a story to tell her husband.
So talk to strangers people, let them talk to you, too! You never know when you're going to hear a hysterical story, and odd story or a story with way too much information.
You never know when you'll finally meet the person who can teach you to tie your shoes correctly!
So, have any stories you want to share with me? Feel free to leave them in my comments section!
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