Sunday, January 9, 2011

asterisks & ampersands

A random observation I had today was that, I've come to a point in my life where I really don't notice many four letter words. It's not that I like them, or even really use them. I'm just not irked by them. It hasn't always been this way though. I remember being really bothered by any thought of cussing, especially when I was a child.

I have a grand memory of when I was about five years old, sitting in the backseat of my parents car. I was running my mouth, as was typical. Blah, blah, blah, yap, yap, yap... My mouth never stopped. I know this because, my parents once told me they used to get me little ice cream cones from DQ just so I'd quiet down for a few miles on road trips. I think I kept talking, their plan ruined. Anyway, I remember this instance so vividly. I was rhyming random words.

"Sit. Hit. Lit. Bit. Get. Knit..."

I remember pausing in the middle of this, from having a particular word come to mind that I knew I definately didn't want to say. I tell myself I'm not gonna say it, and then continue. This time, I was going for speed.

"Kit. Hit. Dit. Fit. (faster, I tell myself) Bit. Wit. Quit. Sh!t."


I said the word I didn't want to say. How did I say that? Why? Instant tears. I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble. I had visions of soap, time-outs, and worst of all my parents being upset. I decided to punish myself. And it's not as though I'd ever been disciplined this way, it was just how my five year old mind reacted. I slapped my own cheek. And cried more.

And my parents barely reacted to the word, more worried by my reaction. They told me they knew it was an accident, I wasn't in trouble.

Damn those four letter words. Er, I mean... Excuse me while I go slap myself.

But here I am a few year later, and I still try not to use very many four letter words. I like words with many letters. I love to use considerably large words that have a grandiose presence and imply that within me lies a greater intelligence level than actually is.

If people drop the F-bomb around me, I probably won't flinch (though I might react a little differently if my kids are with me). You can say any number of words, and I'm not going to throw a fit at you for using improper words in front of me. I may laugh at you, openly even, if you use excessive curses to the point that your sentences are no longer coherent. Flunked on vocabulary, did you?

But there is one word that, no matter how you incorporate it into a sentence, it will bring about a bad reaction from me. I will most likely cringe if it comes into conversation, and even possibly rebuke you for using that type of language in front of me. I will only utter it once on here, and we must never speak of it again.