Saturday, September 11, 2010

Life's Great Annoyances...

I'd like to think I'm an easy going person. If I believed that though, it would probably just prove even more how much I like to live in denial. It's not that I think I'm high-strung, I try to leave that lifestyle to my dog. It's that I have a growing, great list of annoyances.

Yes, we all get annoyed, I have no doubt of that. I think I tend to take things a step further, and never let go of these issues. Granted, I'm only now at the point in my life where I realize this and will publicly admit it ("publicly" being on my blog that has a *ahem* select [promounced "small"] readership??)...

My annoyances tend to be like that popcorn kernal that gets stuck between your teeth... If there is no relief in sight (I don't carry floss in my pocket), the agony is prolonged and obsessed about until it's finally removed. True agony.

So what of the annoyances in life that can't be eventually removed with floss, or remedied some other way? I'm talking of offenses such as people who think sports bras are actual shirts, or that the word "creek" should be pronounced "crick", bad music played in stores, the mullet, bad dental hygeine, crickets, ants, close-talkers, tailgaters, or weather forcasters in general. (this is just a light list of my continual grievances)

But I realized today one of the great thorns in my side (my side being a virtual briar patch), is actually a global dilemma. There may be no remedy, and people may never understand. But it may actually aggrivate me more than my son placing a cricket on my back in Home Depot(correctly pronounced "creek-eht").

This is a problem that has plagued me since my childhood, no less! I have vivid memories of literally squirming in disgust at the sight...

I absolutely cannot stand peanut butter cookies made with cross-hatch marks.

There is no logical explanation for this issue of mine. None. And there are many reasons as to why it's done to begin with, but none really mean much to me. No matter the cause, this has to be one of the grossest things to me ever.

So kindly world I ask for just a small change. It will simplify your life, really! One less item to clean, just press your pretty little cookies down with a spoon, or clean fingertips (or use a really cool cookie stamp?) Please, spare the forks the agony of tedious jobs like marking cookies. Please, don't cross those cookies ever again. Or in the very least effort possible, please don't share them with me.

3 comments:

Project Kaleidoscope said...

Who but you? Fork tine prints on peanut butter cookies are tradition; turkey and stuffing, grilled cheese and tomato soup...Valentine's Day and hearts...

GFREEZ said...

Annoyances are so annoying….I found myself running my tongue around my teeth checking for stuck kernels(even though I haven’t had popcorn in months)…since your blog lends itself to “listing” here goes – why do people insist holding a phone to their ear and driving with 1 hand occupied is no more dangerous than talking to another passenger while driving?…get a Bluetooth or don’t talk while driving(it should be self evident that texting while driving should result in long prison terms)…ALL public restrooms should have doors that open out with no latch(you figure it out , hint – door handles)…most annoyances for me stem from the neverending tide of human stupidity…i.e. when leaving a movie, church or restaurant, please stop immediately outside the doors to chat with your friends, make sure you place yourself directly in the center of the doorway so EVERYONE has to alter there path to get around you…in America we drive on the right, so why are the ‘Entrance’ doors at Wal-Mart on the left?…it IS stealing when you burn a cd or download music from a friend that paid for it…why do you buy the line “with this legislation, more people will be covered, quality will increase and costs will go down”…TV shows\movies that have medical settings where they “turn off” an MRI, grrrr…over using the phrase “I’ll be praying for you”, will you REALLY or you just saying that??…rather large people that say “your diabetic?..oh me too!” no lady I’m diabetic for no apparent reason, you on the other hand eat too much…ok that’s enough, sorry if I offended…1 more - I hate when people apologize and don’t mean it…btw from now on I will use a spoon to flatten my peanutbutter cookies

joynewheart said...

Wow! I'm so glad I learned this about you. Will you still go to the "Cookie Jar" with me someday? Please?! (ha,ha, I'm smiling) I love learning these little things about you. You're such an interesting person. Love ya and "blog on"!