How To Become A Successful Blogger

The way the world works, technology is continually making 'advances'. Everyone is chatting, IMing, twittering and blogging. People want to share their every thought and idea through the newest way imaginable. But, with so many changes happening and so quickly, I have begun to fear that people may not be informed how to perform such actions. And though it's not new, I've decided I should try to help others understand how easy blogging can be.

To begin, choose a location to post your blog (myspace, facebook, blogspot, myface, facespace, spotonyourface, etc.). You will also need to choose your URL and/or your blogs title. It may just be your name, or you might want to opt for the creative. I personally chose "iamjakz" as my URL and the blog title "Life as I pretend to know it". I find them both to be an honest example of my lacking intelligence. I seem to lose my identity often (so I need the reminder that I am jakz). I lose my memory even more so. Therefore, I pretend.

After setting up the basics, choose a topic that you feel comfortable writing about. But please, if you only know only about boring stuff, perhaps you shouldn't contribute to the blog-world with your thoughts. No one really cares about the fact that you can successfully train your pet chimpanzee to say 'moo' every time you feed it a hamburger. Even the people at your local McDonald's are getting tired of your shenanigans. Remember, as much as you are seeking to vent your creativity, you're also posting to a public forum. And we, the public, have very short attention spans.

With your topic chosen, try to hone in on the specifics, and at the same time, remove some. If you just want to write about the day, perhaps blog your emotions, that's great. But please, we don't need to know at what moment you flossed your teeth. Those details are too personal, and quite frankly, disgusting. But, if you state, "I give up on finding a banana slug.". Please don't leave it at that. We, the readers, would like to know, "Why did you give up?" "Why were you looking for one in the first place?" "Did you know they don't actually taste like a banana?"

And speaking of the readers, it can take work to find them. You have to enlist them. Tell your friends, call your mom, email your co-workers, send out bulletins, put up fliers on street corners, run ads in your local paper, read it to your dog, pay strangers, barter (they read, you do their dishes or cook them dinner), put stickers on your vehicle with your URL, post stickers with your URL on strangers vehicles, make sure you mention your URL often when testifying in court for vandalism, etc. The list could go on, but no matter what, don't just do any of these once. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Become a thorn in every persons side until they read the masterpiece.

Anyway, once you have fine-tuned your written wonder (including utilizing the awesome, ever-helpful spell-check), it's time to publish. Just push the "Publish Post" button. It's okay. You can do it. Yes, we will criticize your every word, but don't let the fear of that hinder you. We, the wonderfully attentive readers may also have some kind words of encouragement. Possibly. Weirder things have happened. Maybe. Did you push the dern button yet? Good!

Congratulations on your first post! If you want to actually be a 'blogger', you truly need to commit to writing on a somewhat steady basis. At least once a quarter would be nice. And, if you've waited for more than a few months, a simple, "Wow! It's been a long time since I've blogged!" will not suffice. Pretend you're writing for a purpose (like your readers, or money) and you have deadlines that must be met. It may become a burden, but quite possibly it could be a driving force in coercing you to continue. If you feel that you are in a slump, don't forget, you can always write a 'how-to' type blog. It could be called filler material, but at least you've posted something new.