You used to thrill me with your coming. I'd wait in anticpation for the moment of your arrival. I'd try to tune my ears, listening intently to discern the engine in your vehicle from the others passing by. I'd restlessly wait by the window. Your very coming, if but for a passing moment was always enough for me. It was a gift, as you never arrived with your hands empty.
But now I wait and watch. I watch and I wait. You never call. My emails are never responded to. I've seen you drive past and wondered why you wont stop here. I wait to greet you warmly, but the cold rumble of your truck is all I now know, as it quickly flies past me.
I can't help but think that you're doing this intentionally, trying to avoid me. Trying to ruin the days leading up to my birthday, to ruin the gift of the day. Trying to appear casual as if we never met. As if you never cared enought to bring delight to my doorstep in the past.
So I wait. And hope. And can't help but feel that there is no hope, but that it's lost. All that we had has been lost. You may never return, and I may never ask you to again.
UPS, didn't you know? Didn't you know there are others more reliable? FedEx. DHL. Goodness, even the United States Postal System.
*note to my missing shoes- "Please come home. My feet long to wear you."